Sad Days

If you have been following this blog for any length of time, you are aware of my baby girl Pekoe, my long hair chihuahua. I have had her since she was weaned, she was always a good dog, quiet, never a barkey or nippy dog, well maybe she was a nippy dog, especially to strangers (we just kept her at a safe distance, I was more worried about her hurting herself than hurting other people)... but she was still my sweet little baby,  I could go on but I won't.

About a month ago, she got pretty sick, I hoped she would spring back, but at 12+ years old, she just didn't bounce back like she used to. I took her to the vet and he said she had a heart murmur, by that time she had gotten pretty sick, the vet gave her a long acting antibiotic shot and said let's see how she does.

I took her home and watched as she got sicker and sicker each day, I took her back to the vet, he gave her another antibiotic shot and a cortisone shot. He prescribed a heart medicine for her and sent us home.

By this time, she had gotten so much sicker, she coughed constantly and had little strength, she wouldn't eat and had lost a half a pound over a long weekend, that's a lot for a little dog, I had always kept her weight around 5-6 pounds most of her life. When I took her to the vet the first time (on this illness) she was at 7.5, in the following week, she went down to 7.

She then started bloating, mainly her stomach, it really affected the way she walked and stood, so I called the vet again and he prescribed a diuretic. So now, on a heart pill and a diuretic, she still wasn't getting any better, in fact she was going downhill pretty fast. I had been debating if it was time to put her to sleep.

On Wednesday of last week, I was supposed to be going to town (3 hours away) with the lady I work for, but the day before, Pekoe's back legs swelled up 2x the normal size. That wasn't a good sign at all. She couldn't walk more than a few steps before falling down in exhaustion, I called my friend to tell her I wouldn't be going to town with her. I knew that I would be taking her to the vet for the final time. I spent the night in tears, praying to God, asking that He take her instead of letting her suffer. The following day, I spend the entire morning with Pekoe in my bed for the last time, we cuddled and napped together.

I'll not write out the rest of what happened in any detail, it's too sad, let's just say that I took her to the vet, what clenched it for me is when I let her on the ground outside the vet's office to let her take her last squat, she couldn't get back up. She passed peacefully, looking into my eyes while I talked to her, the vet and his staff were gentle and compassionate.

I am so glad I didn't have to drive either way, a good friend took me in and talked to me all the way home, it worked out the best way it could.

When I got home with Pekoe, PB had made her a proper casket, with little handles. We picked out a spot to bury her and PB dug the hole, he made it pretty deep, he was standing up to his waist in the hole. We put Pekoe in the casket, along with some food and water so she will never be hungry or thirsty, I also put in some Cheerios cereal, that was her favorite morning snack. I included a toy that PB's mom sent last Christmas. She is buried near the garden, under a stand of trees. PB is making a headstone for her.

This is very sad for me, for anyone who doesn't understand why or how someone can be so hurt by losing a pet, my reply is I feel sorry for you as it's clear that you never had a deep relationship with a pet, they have unconditional love, they are so trusting, to me she was part of my family and the pain I feel is a direct reflection of the love I felt for her, and she for me.

If you want to see the pictures of the casket, click on the "read more" below, if you do not wish to see the casket (with Pekoe in it, then don't click on it).

I'll post another picture when we have her headstone set and completely carved.

Rest in peace my baby girl

Pekoe
April 1, 1999-June 15, 2011



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Wretha,

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